There’s something uplifting about laying empty-minded in the dark. The light cannot speak to me. I don’t have to stare back at something that cannot see me. I am free from empty conversations.
Earlier today, I spent a few hours staring at the mirror, wondering if I know who I’m looking at. After mindfully inspecting the life in my eyes, the spots on my face and the lines on my forehead, I concluded that I no longer know who I am. Everything is unfamiliar – even now, my own words sound foreign to me.
My sight has taken my mind to a thousand places.
Here, in the dark, I don’t have to think. My mind is following the light wherever it may be. I glance at my phone’s screen and I’m quickly reassured that it’s far from where I lay. I still have a few hours with the darkness.
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When the weather was most turbulent, I began to sink into my own thoughts. Perhaps, it was speaking to me, angered by my lack of self-care. After all, I’ve been distracting myself by stacking up my schedule with activities beyond my human capacity.
I’ve always been uncomfortable with solitude and slow movement, but yesterday I took a moment to myself. Sitting on the rocks by the sea, staring at the waves that move under the mercy of the wind. They crashed into the rocks and each time I thought to myself, does it hurt? Would the waters be the same if the wind was always present? I don’t know. Maybe, they’ll grow tired. Maybe, the rocks will crumble under the force.
I’m both the wind and water, blowing myself in every direction, hitting the rocks and backing up just to come crashing again. I never thought I’d get hurt in…
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After the chaos has passed, love still stands strong within me.
Love is not standing by an empty street waiting for headlights you know you’ll never see but fragments of your heart linger around the possibility of seeing your reflection in his eyes. It is not walking back home alone afterward with your head low.
Love is not a deep breath that lays heavy on your chest, tears that wake you up at night, or nightmares that follow you wherever you go.
Love is not asking the weather to comfort you with a few droplets of rain or feeling isolated in the sound of laughter.
It is not the pain and suffering of yesterday.
Love is the first ray of dawn that whispers your name through your thin curtains. It’s lazy kisses on your neck.
It’s the smell of freshly brewed morning coffee that transforms into…
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Sharjah Arts Museum
I’ll plant you a garden of roses when the wind is as kind as it is today, and the air is as cold as my skin.
Loud and clear, I hear the air yelling at me, waiting for my blood to boil, but the fire within me died out long ago. There’s nothing left but the cold touch of my fingers waiting for winter to come.
I’ll plant you a garden of roses when the weather is too cold to survive. A red rose standing still in a tundra because the heat between our skin is enough to keep it warm.
I feel it rushing to my ends. I’m the cold bottom of the ocean and you’re the hot wave that keeps returning to me. When your waves come back home, I send my waters to your shore. That’s what it feels like when your skin touches mine.
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I’m here but my heart lies elsewhere. I’m a ghost. I’m the air between your fingers. I’m the breeze against your neck. I’m around when I’m not. I see with my eyes shut. I listen to silence. You’ll find my heart when my mind is blinded. You’ll find my mind when my heart is ill; inked with sin, and lost between the bones of my ribcage. I’m driven by my emotions and guided by my flaky mind. I’m yet to learn about the nature of who I am. Meanwhile, I’ll hold on to what I know, and that is: I’ll be loved until I’m not.
I always come back to you, giving up my lips to you
In a smell so comforting and a taste so sweet
Dusk settles as you and I meet, over the water
because no one has to know what you mean to me
My sin, my will, my desire
Skin tight in a stream of light
The bells of art dead
Lust and love live alike
Like the last droplets of water
in a lake drying from the drought,
I evaporate into the sky
leaving behind me a crust of salt,
signifying that I used to be,
and no man-made efforts to cool the Earth
could help me.
Like the feet of a desert dweller
betrayed by his instincts,
cut and slashed, as he lost his way,
I grow new skin around my scars,
now, numb towards the heated sand.
I don’t feel fresh wounds form
because they are old to me.
Like the fire that needs air to grow,
but is suffocated by a woodpile
in the hands of an amateur,
I try to see where the wind blows,
but it went to sleep, and you no longer hear
the sound of my flames dancing to the breeze.
He unknowingly killed me.
Who am I now?
Not a person, I figure.
At least, not anymore.
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ومازالت أبواب قلبي مفتوحة
وملأت الرمال صدري
تقف ذاكرتك على التلال
تناظرني من بعيد
تلتفت وتعاتب أطلالاً
كانت في الماضي أحلام
… هنا، الشمس لا تغرب
فجفت الأنهار وتراكمت الرمال
حتى تكونت بداخلي صحراء
ذبلت ورود كانت ترتوي منك
وروحي أعياها لهيب الرياح ظمأ
شمسٌ قاسية تحرق قلبي
صرخاتها أسكتت القمر
… لا تنام و ينام هو
وذاكرتك تنادي على التلال
وتترجاه ان يفتح عيناه
لكي ينبت الشجر
شمس أذابت كل ما فيه
ولكنها برد على جسدي
Your soul still lingers here, roaming this desolate land.
Once fertile, its soil was rich with hopes of a future
that was destroyed by the flames of the unforgiving sun.
Your memory calls but we cannot bring back
what has now turned to dust and ash.
Manasu Niraye | Best Malayala Christian Devotional Song 2022 | Libin Scaria | Besti Joji
Malayalam Christian Devotional Song
Lyrics and Direction – Besty Joji
Music Fr. Mathews Payyappilly
Singer – Libin Scaria
തനിമ ക്രിയേഷൻസിന്റെ ബാനറിൽ, ബെസ്റ്റി ജോജി രചനയും സംവിധാനവും നിർവ്വഹിച്ച് ഫാദർ. മാത്യു പയ്യാപ്പള്ളി സംഗീതം നൽകി പ്രശസ്ത പിന്നണി ഗായകൻ ലിബിൻ സ്കറിയ ആലപിച്ച “മനസ്സ് നിറയെ…”എന്ന ഭക്തിഗാന ആൽബം ഏവർക്കുമായി സമർപ്പിക്കുന്നു…🙏
ഞങ്ങളുടെ ഈ പ്രഥമ സംരംഭം വൻ വിജയമാക്കി തീർക്കുവാൻ നിങ്ങളേവരും ഈ സംഗീത ആൽബം കാണുകയും ലൈക്കും സബ്സ്ക്രൈബും ചെയ്ത് ഞങ്ങളെ പ്രോത്സാഹിപ്പിക്കുകയും ഒപ്പം ഈ ലിങ്ക് പരമാവധി മറ്റുള്ളവരിലേക്ക് കൂടി എത്തിക്കുവാൻ ശ്രമിക്കണമെന്നും വളരെ വിനീതമായി അഭ്യർത്ഥിക്കുന്നു🥰🙏
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